Bad CreaturesI can see right through your tactics
I guess to you this is just practice
A pitied pawn who’s told the fact is
He’s used by a benevolent fascist
Take no aim but take all actions
Cutting corners and claiming factions
A piece of us fell apart
From love to loss to death to ashes
Hold me – No hope here
Knowing secrets you wish to share
You speak in chords and mumbled taunts
Perfect girl as my confidant
Hold me –Truth be clear
You’re going forward to nowhere
You weaken lords with humble wants
And starve them ‘til their faces gaunt
You and I are just bad creatures
On a journey for retribution
Misguided by our slighted hearts
Fueling our own alienation
Broken full moons and lace pieces
Spoken hush notes hides in matrices
Graphite confessions in folding creases
Half-righteous lesson mocked by Jesu
waiting - poem by J (sensitive)waiting
Written by: J
Date: January 1, 2017
Time: 1:46 PM
echo it unto my skin.
the sins that created me.
saying yes while saying no.
pain hits the floor.
we're bleeding, but no one knows
the unknown passage of time leaves
imprints of the departed.
closing our eyes, we hope for a prayer
that someday, we can look in the mirror
and be brave.
let's pick up the canvas that brought out our creation
and smash the mirror of false humility and hope
let's be good enough for you, and good enough for me.
beautiful is in itself, misguided.
with posters and magazines,
telling you you have to be a certain size, or look a certain way
to be loved, while we cover ourselves in shame and disbelief
it's not wonder we can't sleep.
still, I wanted to believe
that this world was hopeful
and that I was beautiful
without the lies I tell myself
"Maybe I'll look good today
when all that's
closing - trigger warning.. -JNew writing.
I think it's incomplete, personally.
Take care. And thanks for reading this.
Written by: J
Date: November 28, 2016
Time: 8:16 PM
thanks.. take care..
deep in my heart, there is a cage.
Promise me you'll get out she once said.
It didn't take long before I realized the impact of such words.
Had a home from here and there.
I cross galxies in my dreams.
They said I was pretty.
A rare beauty you'd have trouble finding.
I guess that's true. Even now, I still don't know..
Sure, I have a 'pretty' face.
But it's only mine.
But you.. You made it dirty.
You made me believe I was worth something.
Something beautiful. I was your little doll, strings attached.
But there always is a catch.
I'm a little too skinny, if you were to ask me.
My voice has been forever lost in the shame and abuse I've suffered.
So I no longer rely on it.
I started therapy in grade eight.
heartbreak_4I still wonder sometimes..
Did it ever cross your mind?
Or maybe you just didn't notice?
Or maybe you never cared..
Who knows now..
It's a little disappointing.
But then, maybe I was expecting it..
You never loved me, did you?
You called me lust.
Maybe that's okay.
I may have been your play date.
Just a fun little pet.
Cute Little One.
You called me that once..
Thinking back on it now, it was all for nothing..
Was I truly just a mat for you to walk on?
I gave you a baby..
We'd spent many nights together.
Under the same roof..
Beneath the same bed..
I gave myself to you.
In complete love.. At least I thought so..
It was something I'd never done before..
Then afterward, you would be angry with me..
Over... nothing really..
Sure.. it was nothing..
I started to feel.. separated..
People can change..
I called her Flower.
She was beautiful.
At least, I thought so..
Later on, we'd spend our days yelling back and forth.
..It was always loud.
I turned to dri
fragment - multiple.. imaginings.. --JHello everyone.
Thanks for reading this. I appreciate it.
we care about you...
Written by: J
Date: December 3, 2016
Time: 8:54 PM
Perhaps I'm too much..
Or is it that I care too much?
Love too much?
Want to help my friends too much?
I want to help people..
Maybe I am too much..
Too off the rails..
Too off in my own world.
Which consists of deadly fire, and a blue sea.
And my own circle of peace, daily broken by the demons in my mind.
The question of real, is a fantasy as well..
"Who would want to be with you?"
Says the small child who walks alone at night.
Clinging to hope and a small lamp, barely lit.
I was called.
Been broken and scarred already.
Not that you can see the three severed fates that reside somewhere in my space.
Not the website.
My own space.
A space just for me.
Dancing with ButterfliesShe was dancing with butterflies in a disorienting world. A chaotic expanse of a mind barely absent sent her soaring into the stars, unaware of the desolation left in an ongoing rampage. Reality was an illusion; a long forgotten memory and an old friend lost in the passing of time. Her grasp on sanity was a laughable hallucination; a deception of grandiose ideas and irrational behaviors from a reason abandoned. To her, everything was wonderful and magical, dancing amongst the butterflies of true madness.
untitled misery - TRIGGER WARNING... -Juntitled misery
Written by: J
Date: November 27, 2016
Time: 5:47 PM
i feel empty...
the devil has conquered the mind.
replacing all hope and fantasy with the cruel daggers and blood stains.
we slip through realities, one at a time.
we are partial to ourselves.
skeletons dancing through our dna cutting to pieces the peaceful moment.
dance with me. cradle my dead innocence through the room.
make me believe.
i can't catch you.
death is the dealer. selling you freedom with red blades.
scars on hand and body.
crying in the washroom over the small one who died.
i have to break... ...
DissociateRestless spirit departs in imperfect shadow
penumbra of night sweats; salt, silk sickness staining wallpaper
I swallow ghosts and vanish through the walls
treading epitaph re-writes
recalling and mourning and wishing the past backward.
Inhale fireflies and glow worms
fluoresce and glow in the dark
my belly a flickering candle
ebbing and flowing phantom light
an altar to loneliness.
invisible spectator to my own world.
I eat spiderwebs and
wrap the sticky bone threads - pale spirit stitches
skeletal poltergeist fingers
to sew body back to mind and
keep it from floating away - a parachute.
If my soul wants to leave my body,
why does it keep coming back?
ghoul shrouded neath the pretence of human
wraith inflicting its own slow degradation
before its ghostly congress of silent judgement - conscience jury
jostling for testimony and verdict
the spooks of what ifs holding nooses to hang oneself with;
I'll drown us both.
crumbling - LGBT, first love -- JWrote this just now.
Thanks for reading. I appreciate it.
Written by: J
Date: November 30, 2016
Time: 10:27 PM
thank you.. take care..
i love you
said the fire starter with a match in his hand
didn't want to hurt, and we never could understand
the pain in his heart, growing stronger still
and even just today when he was buried on that hill
He has many secrets that the devil now possessed.
captured by black eyes and a hurt heart.
He wanted to love him. Try to make his story a little better..
But it was never that easy.
Because silence is the word they all believed in.
Silence was the cold knife and hot blood, as he clenchd his fist.
Raised it to heaven.
"Would you love me now?"
..Foolish! As someone said.
Lying naked in a pool of blood, he wondered if life was still worth living.
We can't escape our demons.
Monsters with a deadly habit.
Smoke. Sex. Drugs. We w
skin deep - WARNING - beauty is false.. - J (real)This is real.
So I'm sharing it.
Because I wanted to.
It is graphic. But that's what makes it real, to me.
Anyway.. take care...
I love you..
Written by: J
Date: September 20, 2016
Time: 1:57 PM
beauty is only skin deep. someone said.
How very true those words are.
Deep enough to cut enough roses into two.
each petal representing a pain you've been through.
deep enough to cut a lie.
i'm not hungry. just dying for your beauty.
sleek. slim... photoSHOT
the bullet went through my aching heart.
after i was dumped by my date.
said he didn't want to be seen with the 'fat' girl.
that word again.
how I hate how it cringes on my very aching breath.
so hard to breathe.
looking in the stores.
of things you could eat.
"Sure... wait.. no.
We're so hung on appearance.
girls and guys (too)
because they weren't pretty enough.
or because they were different.
Multiple vs. MPD, DID, DDNOSRogan: Hey Sneak. We're multiple, right?Multiple vs. MPD, DID, DDNOS by BaaingTree
Rogan: So, does that mean we must have Multiple Personality Disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder, or Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified?
Sneak: Nope! Not at all!
Rogan: Care to elucidate on that?
Sneak: Sure! First of all, we flunk the diagnostic criteria for MPD or DID.
Rogan: *claps hands to face* Gasp! How can that be?
Sneak: Easy. To have DID or MPD, you don't just rent out your mental real estate. People have to take over control of the body, and you have to have trouble remembering important things. We fulfill the first and second parts, but our memory problems are pretty much negligible
[if you have a song you'd like put up here drop me a note]
Beautiful - Christina Aguilera - www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAfyFT…
Break Your Heart - Taio Cruz - www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_SI2E…
Nothing to Lose - Billy Talent - www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGUw0u…
Adam's Song - Blink 182 - www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MRdtX…
This Time Imperfect - AFI - www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjC4bw…
Manic Street Preachers - From Despair to Where - www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7JTXZ…
Pink - Long way to Happy - www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMJwCS…
Sia - Breathe me - www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSH7fb…
Wreck of the Day - Anna Nalick
P!nk - F**kin' Perfect - www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocDlOD…
Marilyn Manson - The Nobodies
Röyksopp - What Else Is There? - www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLpkXt…
Goo Goo Dolls - I'm Still Here (www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba1UFP…)
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